So you know all about our teeth-pullingly, excruciatingly slow house search? We saw bats, squatters, donkeys, flood zones, fire damage and, of course, rabbit hutches. Oh, and don't forget the Catholic cult house, complete with glass-walled bedrooms (for innocent Catholic viewing pleasure, of course), and a 10ft Jesus on the cross inlayed on the hallway floor. Here's my question... is there a person that specializes in creating marble inlays of Jesus, complete with all the blood and dragging intestines? And if so, are they as dark and weird as I'd expect? This is just screaming for a documentary. Just saying.
Anyway, in amongst all that weirdness, we found our house. And don't get me wrong, it has its own share of weirdness. At our price point, that's inevitable. The previous owners were DIY builders, so there are home-made rooms tacked onto the side of the house. And sheds randomly built throughout the yard. And dark brown paint all over the walls. But you know what, underneath that "independent spirit" is a truly great house. And no, its not huge. But its got a great layout and we kinda like it. I'm reserving any declarations of love until we're sure there are no bones in the yard. I don't think anyone was ever sacrificed or murdered on the property (which in my mind are the same things, but the Catholic cult might argue the semantics). But you never know. We've already found 6 pairs of lacy lingerie strewn in the bushes, so there is a possibility it may have housed a hooker or 2. Either that, or maybe the elderly previous owners were a bit more frisky than we thought. I'm hoping for the latter, for obvious reasons. Even if the mental images will scar me for life.
Here are some pics. Prior to the renovations, which are ongoing, and almost as excruciating as the house search.
We moved in last weekend and the tiles were still in boxes and the paint still wet. Which is just the perfect scenario with a 3-year-old and a drooling, shedding basset hound. I'm opening a bottle of wine just thinking about it #involuntaryshudder. But things are starting to look up. Nobody is dead (that we know of), and the house is definitely looking better than it did when we bought it. But we're nowhere near the end of the renovation. So here's some free insider trading advice - buy Bevmo shares now. Because I have a feeling that my wine consumption is only going to increase over the upcoming weeks. The way I see it, its a mental illness prevention drug. And drugs are good, right? This is America after all.