In one of my older posts, I was worried that my son would turn into some kind of drug dealing super-spy. He'd stolen all my shoes, hidden half of them in a thorn bush and to this day, the other half have yet to be returned to me. So as much as I was glad for the opportunity to go on a shoe replacement shopping spree, I was also genuinely worried that this would mark the beginning of Micah's criminal career. And it turns out that it did. Since then he has flushed our Christmas ornaments down the toilet, stolen numerous boxes of peppermints from Trader Joes, attempted to steal an unlocked car outside a neighbor's house, thrown a bag of uncooked pasta at our dog and purposely graffitied our fridge. So basically be has committed robbery, attempted grand theft auto, aggravated assault against an animal, and property damage. And all before his second birthday. Personally, I blame the parents. I always blame the parents.
But my biggest recent worry is his increasing tendency to dictatorship. I mean it came as no surprise to me that he's bossy. I am his mother after all. And I have been known to "take charge" when the need arises. I've even been called a pushy control freak (I love you honey). But my son makes me look like the freakin' Dalai Lama. He struts around like Mussolini, barking orders at all and sundry and screaming at his minions. Which is kinda cute when it's just friends and family. But really embarrassing when it's aimed at the elderly Christian minister that insisted on helping me push my cart to the car. Especially when he told the poor old man to "BACK OFF" once he was done. And it's not easy when we visit the horses at the stables nearby and he orders the "orses" (and the staff) to "SIT AND STAY" because he wants time to decide exactly which horse deserves carrots.
Here is a pic, just in case you don't believe me.
And here is a pic of Muammar Gadhafi.
Similar, no? Oh, and you see what Gadhafi is wearing? Hmm, the man has style. I bet he was stealing his mother's shoes as a toddler too. Nuff said.
So here's my new mission. I'm enrolling my son in Greenpeace next year. I figure if he has to be bossy, controlling and dictating, at least he can do it for the good of mankind. See I'm not such a bad parent after all.
