So I've been using this accountant called Gene for the past few years who is a real laugh. I heard about him through a friend and since he lives about an hour away, I first started working with him over the phone. And... yes, his voice did sound a little old, but hey. I thought maybe he just smoked too much. I mean he seemed to know what he was talking about. Although to be honest, I'm so clueless when it comes to tax, Sarah Palin could probably bullshit me if she really tried. Okay, maybe not. I refudiate that. No way I'm that bad.
But it was only when I met him in person that I realized how astronomically old he really is. He looks like Al Roper. Remember him, the old dude from Three's Company. Except my accountant's 20 years older. So picture this guy but way, way older:
Like this:
But honestly, I didn't care. Gene's a riot, he knows his tax stuff and he makes me laugh. And anyone that is able to make me smile in the presence of IRS documentation and the impending gloom of writing a very large check deserves recognition. Deserves a freaking medal - the IRS medal of valor or something.
Except now I have a problem. Gene has started forgetting things. Like filing my 2010 tax return. Or returning my phone calls. And that freaks me out. Because when you are as clueless as me, you need someone you can trust with your fax mess. And if there's one thing I know as a non-American-citizen, you don't mess with the IRS. Ever.
So on a pure business level, I know it's time to find a new accountant. But I love Gene. I'm torn. I was going to call him last week and explain why I was moving on to a "younger model". But then I heard he was really sick. And I just didn't have the heart to pick up the phone and fire a dying man. So now I'm paying 2 accountants to prepare my tax return. I've asked Gene to mail his to me first so I can intercept it before it's mailed to the IRS. Although I'm secretly hoping he'll forget to do it... again.
And that, my friends, is why my taxes are in such a state. You think the IRS will understand if I explain that I'm just too nice to pay taxes? Is there a deductible for caring and kindness? No. And the IRS wonders why they rate so low on popularity polls? They should follow Toyota's lead - you know how they give away free cars to nice people? The IRS should give tax breaks to nice people too. Because I wouldn't mind giving my hard earned cash to an organization that cared, just a little. Just saying.
And here's a shout-out to Gene. Get well soon my friend.