I had every intention of starting my blogging year with a great post about new years resolutions, life goals and other lofty ideals. Instead I saw in 2010 with my head over a toilet bowl. And not because I’d had too much to drink (although with my past history you’d be forgiven for thinking so). No, I had the stomach flu for 2 whole days. And we all know that there really aren’t too many things worse than the stomach flu. Except if you have to look after a teething baby while you have the stomach flu. Which I did… while my husband went mountain biking with his friends. Hmm, enough said.
But, I got through it. Mainly because I relied on a mantra repeated by women all over the world for decades: “this can only make me thinner”, “this can only make me thinner”. And since I ate the equivalent of a small elephant in chocolate over Christmas, there was definitely a bright side.
But this morning as I was sitting down for my first breakfast in days, I split my pants. Even after barfing the equivalent of my own body weight, the sheer magnitude of my ass caused my pants to explode. Sad, sad, sad. Was this a bad omen for the rest of the year or, god forbid, the rest of the decade?
So I did what we all do, I called “friend-911” on Facebook. I knew they would drag me out of the depths of despair. And true enough, I struck gold! My friend Kim explained it perfectly. She said “don’t worry, its not a bad omen. It's like starting your day by swallowing a frog - nothing worse can happen to you.”
So yay for me. The all the bad stuff for 2010 is finished, over, finito, acabado, klaar, vergeet. From now on it only gets better… I can’t wait!